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Cowboys 23
Giants 16

Washington fans … Dallas Week is going to be a Rush: Cooper and Pass.

Believe it or not, Cooper Rush is the first player since the 1970 merger to lead three fourth-quarter/overtime game-winning drives in his first three NFL starts. And given what Philly just did to the Commanders on a short week following a win on MNF, that Cowboys defense that sacked Daniel Jones five times and  might feast on Carson Wentz Sunday. Buckle up, y’all.

Broncos 11
49ers 10

In only the second NFL game ever to end with this weird score, two things in Denver are painfully obvious:  and Russell Wilson needs Seattle more than Seattle needs him. Yes, the Broncos are 2-1 but they can’t ask the defense for a herculean effort every week — that’s supposed to be on the $250 million QB.

Speaking of highly-paid QBs … I don’t get why so many of my media brethren were out here talking about how San Francisco has a better shot at making a Super Bowl run with Jimmy Garoppolo than with the now-injured Trey Lance. I mean, there’s a reason Jimmy G. got replaced — and this is a pretty compelling reason:

Jimmy just threw a safety and a pick 6.

— Billy M (@BillyM_91)

Packers 14
Bucs 12

Because of course the NFL runs counter to expectations, the so-called “Battle of the Bays” was a defensive struggle in which the two first-ballot Hall of Fame quarterbacks were held to pedestrian numbers that looked like they were pulled out of a 1980s box score printed in the Washington Post on a Monday morning. If there’s a postseason rematch, look for Vita Vea to get some reps at safety.

https://twitter.com/FieldYates/status/1574148955625209857?s=20&t=EC-RJ7UeTNemFf8hRZeVNQ

Rams 20
Cardinals 12

Arizona has lost 11 of the last 12 meetings with the L.A. Rams so the closest thing to the Cardinals winning is losing without it being a total embarrassment.

Of course, Aaron Donald has been making people look silly for years, becoming the fastest in NFL history to 100 career sacks and joins John Randle as the only interior D-lineman to reach that milestone. Donald’s greatness can’t be overstated.

Falcons 27
Seahawks 23

 paid big dividends, getting their first win of the season in a notoriously difficult stadium to play in. Enjoy this win, Falcons fans (both of you). These figure to be few and far between.

Jaguars 38
Chargers 10

Look, I know Justin Herbert was banged up, but at what point do we stop predicting great things for the Chargers and just accept that they’re … the Chargers?

But for now, props to the Jacksonville defense that’s given up only 10 points in the last two games. This is definitely the best that unit’s looked since the “Sacksonville” days.

Eagles 24
Commanders 8

Since none of Washington’s selections for a mascot are any good, how about a late entry: A sack. A plain, burlap sack to represent the boring, bland ideas to promote a team that let their quarterback get wrapped up nine times by the team that drafted him and ditched him.

I’m sure Carson Wentz didn’t appreciate , and he’s got himself at least partially to blame for that stinker at FedEx Field (and no, I’m not referencing , this time anyway). The Commanders are trending in the wrong direction while Philly — 3-0 for the first time since 2016, when Wentz was a rookie — seems poised to run away with the NFC East.

Ravens 37
Patriots 26

If Lamar Jackson stays healthy this season, there’s no better pick for MVP. He’s destroying teams with his arm () and his legs, becoming the first player in the Super Bowl era with at least three touchdown passes and over 100 rush yards in consecutive games while forcing us to . This man is revolutionizing the quarterback position and I’m just grateful to be alive to witness it.

Bill Belichick probably isn’t though, now a 100-loss coach who figures to get plenty more in New England — especially if Mac Jones misses significant time. If only Cam Newton and/or Colin Kaepernick were available …

Panthers 22
Saints 14

The only thing more insane than the “” happening in Carolina is this insane stat:

make that 1-25

— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball)

Yet New Orleans lost to this Panthers team that went the last six games without a take-away and nine games without a win, losing the turnover battle 3-0 to commit eight turnovers over their last six quarters of football. This was always how the Saints would undermine its talented roster. (That, and settling on Dennis Allen as the head coach.)

Bengals 27
Jets 12

The Cincinnati Bengals are making fantasy football owners happy and the Jets are disappointing New York. All is right with the world again.

Bills 19
Dolphins 21

What is it about the AFC East sticking its butt where it doesn’t belong?

is this the greatest photo of all time

— NFL (@NFL)

A decade after the Jets introduced the football world to “,” Miami shrugged off “” to make a statement by outlasting their hated rival and Super Bowl front-runner. It sucks that this victory was tainted by controversy.

Meanwhile, Buffalo’s statement is . And with injuries mounting on their vaunted defense, that’s a tough ask moving forward.

Colts 20
Chiefs 17

Kansas City did a bunch of fluky stuff because their kicker is hurt and legends like Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce missed on plays they normally make in their sleep. Nothing to see here, folks.

Titans 24
Raiders 22

Las Vegas is the only team in the NFL to lose all three of their games. What are the odds? (You see what I did there.)

Vikings 28
Lions 24

Though this could be considered a predictable outcome — Kirk Cousins usually plays well when it’s not a prime-time game with stakes and Detroit is winless in their last 11 road games — but the fourth quarter of this game was the first of 2022 in which the Lions were held out of the end zone. I know Dan Campbell is taking flak for this loss but there’s definitely a different vibe in Motown this year.

Bears 23
Texans 20

At a time when , the Texans failed to deliver him the proper measure of revenge he deserves — but even in victory, . Consider this a brief reprieve from what’s likely to be a loooong season in the Windy City.

Steelers 14
Browns 23

No words. Just George Pickens.